I should also add that there have been many birthday cake fiascoes in my past.... with my husband being sick of being woken up at 3, 4, 5 o clock in the morning of a child's birthday party with some cake disaster or another. (One time Blue's house totally fell over..... another time Ord's face caved in.) Kevin finally decided that in the interest of peace (and sleep) birthday cakes would now be purchased. It was just getting too complicated.
So there we were, lights out, my mind going full speed. "What kind of cake do you want for your birthday party Alex?" I asked him, almost pleading for an answer.
"Wedding cake, mom." (Did I hear that right?)
"Hmmm," I paused. "How exactly do you make wedding cake?"
"Oh mom, it's really easy. First you take the chocolate cake, then gummy bears, then chocolate cake, then gummy bears, then chocolate cake, then gummy bears, another chocolate cake and then gummy bears around the candles."
Trying to envision this my head I asked, "Is there frosting in between the cakes with the gummy bears?"
"No. Just on the sides and the top around the candles"
I repeated it back to him making sure I understood his version of 'wedding cake'. Square or round cakes? Four round chocolate cakes. Gummy bears in between. Could it be that simple?
Apparently it was.
And there we had it, a six year old's version of wedding cake.
How many people have ever even tasted wedding cake? We look at the beautiful cake and imagine the lightest fluffiest cake with creamiest frosting. It really should taste divine, delicious, a symbol of the 'sweetness' of the day. In reality don't most people just have fruit cake so it is sturdy enough to hold up all the tiers? Cake that holds it shape for years? People put it behind a glass case, have it on display and bring it out on their anniversary? Light fluffy cake can't even endure the weekend, let alone 30 years, so we don't even end up using the 'real' cake.
When we got married Kevin insisted that we have chocolate cake (his favorite). My aunt who was making the cake, tried to explain how difficult it would be to have the pillars with the levels- think of the 'structural integrity'. Didn't matter. It would be fake if we couldn't eat it. Why begin your marriage with an imposter cake? Cake was meant for eating, he said. So we had real chocolate cake. Cake that was put in our freezer and eaten for first few months of our marriage- but still eaten.
I think in life we try and complicate the simple things like cake. All cakes pretty much begins the same. Eggs, flour, sugar, oil. We complicate it by the things we add on, particularly the details (or decorating) at the end. And in the end, cake is meant to be eaten. If we approach our relationships, our marriages with the simple things, the 'true' things we will reap the rewards. Then we will have things we can really use in the end and have joy instead of complicating them by the things that don't really matter at the end of the day.
It may be that we need to add a few gummy bears to bring a little joy (or make it a little special), but as long as the joy is there from the beginning to the end, then it has all been worth it. Alex's 'wedding cake' got eaten, virtually right down to the last crumb. Once the party guests had gone, my family even ate the crumbs with their hands. That "wedding cake" brought a smile to everyone's face. The boys at his party didn't care that I hadn't spent 20 hours frosting a detailed Mario with all the fancy cake decorating tips. They cared that there was cake, and were delighted that there were gummy bears. Goal accomplished. Mom was well rested, kids were happy. I like simple. Thanks for helping me get my perspective Alex, I needed that.
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